I turned 39 last month. Only one year from now I will have officially reached “middle age.” And finally, FINALLY, I feel I’ve discovered who God made me to be. I feel like I’ve found myself. I feel like everything in my life has been leading me to this first Lifeschooling Conference. The hand of God has been incredibly evident from the moment we first started planning…the connections, the answers to prayer, the confirmations from other homeschoolers thirsting for a change.
Perhaps stating that “everything in my life has been leading me to this” sounds a little melodramatic. I sincerely don’t mean it to be. (And give me a break, I’m an emotional artist). But I can’t help but think…Isn’t this a central idea as to why we are even doing this conference? I believe it should sadden us that for most of us, it takes about 40 years of our lives to discover who we really are and what we were created to do. I can’t help but think that the enemy loves that we spend the first half of our lives spinning our wheels and wasting so much time. I think he loves it even more when, upon finally discovering ourselves, he can convince us that by 40, it’s too late. Too late to get another education. Too late to change careers. Too late to start up a business or do anything else that would require “risk.” (Why we are compelled to listen to the enemy over God is another thing altogether. I mean, really…which is truly “riskier”?)
Now I won’t say that the first half of my life was completely wasted, nor that God didn’t have a purpose in some of the other things that I have done and options I have “tried on.” I still see His hand in leading me to study art and in putting me in a traditional school environment. I see his hand in some of the other interests and pursuits I’ve had (and still have). He is in control and I don’t doubt for a moment that all these experiences and life paths will be used by Him, as I see it happening already! But I want more for my own children.
I want them to explore and discover while they have time and we can support them, while we can think and worry about all those sorts of things that invade the days of those graduated into the adult world. I want to give them the simple gift of time. I want them to be among those who love them most, for as much time as possible so that we can help shape them and mold them into the men and women God created them to be. By the time our jobs are diminishing in importance and they are ready to leave our home, I want them to clearly and deeply know who they are and what God has purposed them to do.
Do we really have to wait until 40 to figure out our life’s one, central mission? For my children and the children of those whom I can have some influence, I certainly hope not!
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