3 Homeschool Phrases That DRIVE. ME. CRAAAAZY!
I realize I can be a bit overzealous when it comes to lifeschooling, but there are several homeschool phrases I see tossed around that really make me nuts.
Like seriously nuts!!
These are the verbal viruses of the traditional school mindset that have crept into modern homeschooling and are part of what led me to try to “rebrand” this whole idea of “homeschooling”! I was finding myself feeling less and less excited about the connotations with the term “homeschooling.”
Homeschool Phrase #1: Learning Gaps
I opened my e-mail the other day and was assaulted by these offensive phrases again. (I know, I know… I can be dramatic. But I really dislike them so much that I a sense of righteous indignation!) This homeschool mom (and second generation, mind you) talked about how glad she was for this particular program because it eliminated her children’s “learning gaps.”
What?
Think on that a minute.
Listen, if you don’t have any learning gaps, then I don’t know what kind of superhuman you are! Learning gaps are part of life. None of us will ever know everything about a topic and the gaps are exactly what keep us pursuing knowledge and enjoying the learning process!
Homeschool Phrase #2: Fall Behind
This same mom also talked about not wanting her kids to “fall behind.” Fall behind what, may I ask? Why do we feel the constant need to compare and contrast our children’s abilities with those of other children? Does this really sound biblical at all to you? Who are these people that get to determine where all 3rd-grade children need to be intellectually and academically?
Our kids are not cogs on an assembly line and we are not the assembly line workers, shoving information into their learning compartments and moving them down the line. No, these are our children. They are spiritual beings with deep needs that go beyond academics.
Can we trust that God will orchestrate their academic learning much better than we can?
It is only up to us to be faithful and it is up to Him to reward our faithfulness. As another homeschooler put it once,
There is no behind in homeschooling…except the one you’re sitting on! 😂
Homeschool Phrase #3: Grade Level
The final term that I want to banish from every mom’s vocabulary is “grade level.” I hate it for the same reasons I hate the other homeschool phrases. It is based on comparison and it leads moms to fear that they are not doing enough. I don’t know of a single homeschooling mom who is not trying her best to educate her children…and that is enough.
And the irony is that those who seem most tempted to give in to this fear do more to damage their children’s education because of that fear! It leads them to be controlling and overbearing, rather than allowing the learning process to be natural and fun… hence, memorable and effective.
Perfect love casts out fear.
1 John 4:18
If we love our children, we will not make our decisions for their education out of fear of “learning gaps,” “falling behind,” or staying on “grade level.” We will not compare them with others, but rather ask God where He wants them to be in their unique educational path.
Annoying Homeschool Phrases Bottom line
These homeschool phrases are nothing more than fear tactics.
They make us think we need someone or something else in order to stand on our own. But listen, moms… God’s school doesn’t have any learning gaps! He knows exactly what your children need to learn each day and His plans cannot be thwarted by those who truly seek Him and obey His voice. So stop listening to those who peddle fear, particularly if they are selling something.
I know. Easier said than done for some of us.
But I just want you to hear this today and take it to heart, even if you have to reread it again tomorrow. We are learning and growing every day and God’s grace is sufficient!
He loves those kids more than you ever could, and the path He has them on is the perfect one for them. Stop listening to the fear-driven homeschool phrases. Trust His voice.
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12 Comments
Thanks for this. It’s only the third week of September, and we already feel like we’re starting to “fall behind.” Not behind the school system, mind you. Just behind in some of the books in our family’s learning plan. There are tons of books we want to get through this year, and we realistically we have to move at a certain pace to get through them all. It does, unfortunately, but a lot of unpleasant pressure on us, but that’s also a reality of life. Sometimes you have to do work that you’d rather not do at a time when you’d rather be doing something else. I find the biggest challenge in our homeschool is trying to seek balance on a daily and yearly level.
I am encouraged by your implication that we should ignore these terms though!
Thanks for your comment and I’m glad you found this post encouraging! Yes, it’s true that there is balance in everything. Sometimes we do just have to do work that we don’t want to do. But I find most moms put more pressure on themselves than necessary and there is always that danger of turning learning into a “chore” and something to get done. I hope this encourages you to take a breath and enjoy what you are able to get accomplished! 🙂
I needed to hear this today, to be reminded of this. Thank you!
I’m so glad it encouraged you, Andrea! 🙂
Thank you and God bless you! I cannot agree more with these simply empowering words!
Kind regards
Kamisha in England
Thank you for commenting and I’m glad it was helpful to you! 🙂
I needed to read this today, as I sit and contemplate the choices I have made for the school year, your words reminded me that God is in control and yes I am the hands and feet but He is on the throne. With one of our four kids, I have been using most of the terms you detest. It was and is a reminder that he isn’t behind or not at grade level but learning at his sweet pace and what I need to do is let the learning happen and not give up and let the ” negative terms” overpower my school day; allowing them to creep into my thoughts and let this sweet little boy learn and enjoy every moment I get with him.
Yes, Gretchen, enjoy your sweet boy! 🙂 We can really damage their desire to learn when fear takes over and we start to force things. Stop and ask what he would like to learn…a subject that he could really delve into…and you’ll be amazed at how easily the academics sneak in naturally! When they have a self-driven motivation to learn, it will happen! So glad this was an encouragement to you today.
As I sit here and read back on the email that you sent me and also the comments on this, it reminds me that really do want the best for my child. I may not do everything right but I want to do want her to succeed. The Lord has always been there for me, through all of my triumphs and my failures and I know he will lead me through this as well. I think we all just need reminded that we are good enough and your posts mean the world to me and so many others who are just trying to do the best that we know how. My God richly bless you and your family!
Amen! I’m so glad you were encouraged through my writing! We do all need to be reminded that we are enough, even when we are not perfect. No one is! But God made us to be just the right parents for our children and we are equipped for the task. Thank you for your kind words and I pray blessings for your family, as well!
Danielle, I heard your interview on the Homeschool Sanity Show with Dr. Melanie Wilson and it was a relief to hear someone with similar teaching values and even share the same personality. I’ve been homeschooling for 12 years and our family is moving to a different season. My husband I have 3 children and the eldest just finished high school this month with 1 year of college credits under her belt. I knew early on that she was gifted in art and didn’t want to spend a lot of time with “academic rigor” but yet challenged her in areas like History and Literature to see how that may spark something within her. Anyway, she just graduated and I’m so grateful for the ways we’ve seen her blossom as a child of God but also in her natural strengths, gifts and talents. I also have a middle schooler and a 1st grader who I’ve been praying about to see how may I guide them. I’m 12 years older from when I started with my eldest and I don’t have the same energy or capacity, so I thought… until I started spending time with the Lord recently and came across your interview. I just want to say I am soo excited to give it a shot again. Hearing you speak about caring for our children’s heart and being observant of who they are reminds me of the main reasons I stuck with homeschooling with my eldest. I want to give my two younger kids the same opportunity and I just have to trust God and not allow fear or my thoughts of being inadequate lead my decisions. I love this quote “ It is only up to us to be faithful and it is up to Him to reward our faithfulness”. I’m going to out that on my vanity mirror so I can see it as a reminder everyday. Thank you and cheers to another school year!!
Oh, praise the Lord!! I am always so happy to hear when I’ve been able to encourage someone and help breathe new life into their homeschool! (And that big age gap sure is tricky…I feel ya!) Your comment about putting the quote on your vanity mirror reminded me that I have some other quotes you can print out for free here: https://lifeschoolingshop.com/products/encouraging-homeschooling-quotes I hope you find them helpful! God is so faithful, and I know He will see you through. 🙂 Thank you for sharing this with me and do stay in touch!